A medical librarian from Dover cringes every time he sees a particular ad in my favorite newspaper.
“For the past several months,” writes Joseph G. Hagloch, “Akron General [Medical Center] has been running a disturbing ad in the Beacon.
“A guy is texting a friend and says, ‘Think I sprained my ankle jogging today — looks like a trip to the ER.’
“AG then says you can check the wait times at its various ERs.
“Herein lies a large part of our excessive national medical expenses.
“If you ‘think’ you ‘sprained’ your ankle, you put ice on it, wrap it if you want, and take it easy for a few days. You don’t spend $1,000 going to an emergency room, waiting, seeing several intermediaries, seeing a doctor, probably having an X-ray, having the X-ray interpreted and being sent home with a prescription for Vicodin.”
Excellent point. If our fictional character thought he broke his ankle, rather than merely sprained it, an ER trip would make sense.
Much to my surprise, the chief spokesman for AGMC wholeheartedly agrees.
“That’s a very astute observation by your reader and he is absolutely right,” says Jim Gosky. “We certainly do not want to encourage unnecessary trips to the emergency department.
“That particular campaign ... is no longer running and we pledge to be more conscientious of our word choice in the future.”
How refreshing! No excuses! No dancing around! Just “we screwed up and will try to do better”!
I feel faint. Perhaps I should head to the ER. ...
Double entendre?
A Beacon Journal editor was amused by the subject line of an email sent to him on Christmas Eve by a man from the state gay-rights organization Equality Ohio.
The fundraising plea was headed: “Hung with care.”
Tongue twister
I figured it would take a long, long time for another Summit County organization to come up with a worse name than the former Summit County Port Authority, which 10 months ago changed its moniker to “the Development Finance Authority of Summit County: An Ohio Port Authority.”
Well, I figured wrong.
Summit County Children Services has landed a federal grant to study drug and alcohol addiction among parents. With parental addiction playing a major role in the child welfare system, the program sounds highly worthwhile.
But did the folks at Children Services really have to name it “the Summit County Collaborative on Trauma, Alcohol & Other Drug & Resiliency-Building Services for Children & Families”?
They’re calling it “STARS” for short. But there’s no way around the fact that the acronym actually is SCCTAODRBSCF.
Now look, people: A name is not supposed to double as a mission statement. A name is just a name. A little restraint, if you please.
Wrong message
Speaking of acronyms ...
A pal whose wife received a letter from the state’s Department of Aging on the eve of a landmark birthday says he is glad the agency generally refrains from using its acronym, especially with the preposition included. Otherwise, he notes, aging Ohioans could be receiving mail marked “DOA.”
Weird catch
On the same recent day, Akron police investigated two burglaries involving collections of stolen goods that were, shall we say, eclectic.
In the first theft, on Wing Street, the haul consisted of:
• A Swarovski crystal tiara.
• Condoms.
The second burglary, on Dayton Street, netted the following:
• $20.
• Beer.
• Jewelry.
• A box containing a cremated dog.
Lots of luck fencing the last item.
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com.