The State of Ohio has filed a four-figure lawsuit in Summit County Common Pleas Court against a Brunswick woman who bumped into some of the state’s metal.
Because of Heather Erdman’s “negligence,” the state says, she owes Columbus $1,799.79, plus collection costs of $228.09.
On the morning of Jan. 22, 2008, the evil Erdman was driving north in the slow lane of Interstate 271 in Richfield at the breakneck speed of 45 mph, 20 mph below the speed limit. Even that was too fast, as it turned out, because the weather was lousy.
Her wheels slid sideways on ice and snow, sending her car into the guardrail. The car bounced off the guardrail and slid all the way across the road and off the other side, coming to rest against an embankment.
Erdman was wearing her seat belt but still suffered injuries that required treatment.
Nobody else was involved.
Her 13-year-old Mercury Mystique was crumpled, and so was Ohio’s guardrail.
The one-sentence narrative on the police report said the woman “lost control due to severe weather.”
She certainly wasn’t alone. A photo on the front page of the Community section in the next day’s Beacon Journal showed another car that had spun out and ended up on a cart path bridge on the West Course at Firestone Country Club. Spinouts were numerous throughout the region.
But now the state is suing this woman for wrecking a guardrail.
Maybe Lakehurst, N.J., should have sued the owners of the Hindenburg for damaging its mooring mast.
Swell prizes
How come I never get great invitations like this?
A Cuyahoga Falls zoning official held a get-together in his ward last week in hopes of assembling a group of volunteers to address a variety of community issues.
A flier distributed to residents billed the event as “informative yet fun.” The invitation said door prizes would include “spa treatments, dinners, pepper spray and outdoor flowers.”
Nothing says “fun” and “informative” like pepper spray, eh?
Tattered brain
Here’s a free tip to the guy who was busted for falsification during a traffic stop by Tallmadge police:
If you have tattoos all over your neck and face, you might not want to show the cop a driver’s license belonging to some guy without a single tat.
Sister cities
On Tuesday, when Akron-Canton set a record high of 80 degrees, a fellow driving by the Beacon Journal’s clock tower called the newsroom, wondering why our tower was displaying a temperature of 21 degrees.
Fahrenheit.
We wondered, too. Then, diligent reporters that we are, we found out, thanks to one of our Information Technology mavens.
“This is an issue with the software from the vendor,” he messaged, explaining that, when the computer controlling the tower can’t find Akron’s information via a link to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, it defaults to Bismarck, N.D.
Yes, Bismarck, N.D.
Clearly, Bismarck is less than lovely this time of year.
Better excuse
Tom Sawyer, the former Akron mayor, former U.S. representative, current state senator and lifelong College of Wooster dropout, has been following our ongoing ruminations about why so many Akronites mistakenly add an “S” when pronouncing the name of the Tangier, an Akron restaurant that has been around for 65 years.
“As you know,” he said in a voice mail, instantly giving me more credit than I deserve, “Tangier is the summer capital of Morocco. ‘Tangiers’ is a perfectly acceptable alternative spelling of that same city. ...
“That is most likely where Akronites get their ‘S.’
“At least that’s what I like to think.”
OK, I’ll think it, too. Thinking that does make me feel better.
Foul balls
Reader Dave Webb shares my distaste for the new craze among television basketball announcers: talking about players who “can really score the basketball.” Rather than, say, the hockey puck.
The only grammatically legitimate way to “score a basketball,” Webb notes, is to scratch a line in the ball with a sharp object.
Not that complicated
Speaking of sports, reader Dan Hayes, a baseball fan for about eight decades, volunteered some additional 21st century terminology that should make our skin crawl.
“In all my years with baseball, we used the world ‘control’ for pitching success,” he wrote. “Now it’s ‘command’ and ‘location.’ Sounds like ‘control’ to me.
“When I hear [Indians broadcasters] Tom Hamilton or Rick Manning say ‘command,’ I think of former Detroit pitcher Mark Fidrych going behind the mound and talking to the ball before returning to the rubber for the next pitch.
“He apparently thought the ball would follow his ‘command’ and go to the right ‘location.’ ”
Bob Dyer can be reached at 330-996-3580 or bdyer@thebeaconjournal.com.